i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
