honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
