Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
