Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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