i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
