we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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