Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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