You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize