Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
