we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
