VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
