I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize