Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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(419): View more from Ohio

do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?

(567): View more from Ohio

EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.

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(231): View more from Michigan

You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(506): View more from New Brunswick

I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.

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(714): View more from California

Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".

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