dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major