OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
