Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.

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  (765): I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot. http://tfl.nu/lv0c
  Replies (101) Good night (1662) Bad night (4641)
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  (909): View more from California

  so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes

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  (909): so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes http://tfl.nu/5z0g
  Replies (15) Good night (781) Bad night (5292)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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  (814): I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again http://tfl.nu/580i
  Replies (12) Good night (3150) Bad night (893)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy

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  (732): On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy http://tfl.nu/zv53
  Replies (57) Good night (5693) Bad night (867)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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  (502): i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'. http://tfl.nu/b21s
  Replies (18) Good night (6739) Bad night (780)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.

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  (719): I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me. http://tfl.nu/o08k
  Replies (16) Good night (5403) Bad night (1546)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  What will that accomplish?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

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  (602): We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. (480): What will that accomplish? (602): It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. http://tfl.nu/n4ns
  Replies (23) Good night (8275) Bad night (1617)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing

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  (203): Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing http://tfl.nu/rf46
  Replies (2) Good night (1422) Bad night (942)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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  (781): Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours. http://tfl.nu/9pdv
  Replies (11) Good night (1896) Bad night (1289)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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  (973): I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/8wfu
  Replies (10) Good night (2060) Bad night (566)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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  (952): WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms. http://tfl.nu/gsmc
  Replies (6) Good night (479) Bad night (937)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED

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  (903): I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED http://tfl.nu/wpbt
  Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (302)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.

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  (919): There is an alarming amount of food in my bra. http://tfl.nu/bxub
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (480)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"

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  (443): You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty" http://tfl.nu/zep8
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (206)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug

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  (248): My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug http://tfl.nu/ts87
  Replies (4) Good night (240) Bad night (209)

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