u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?