Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.