good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
