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• (714): View more from California

  DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.

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• (742): View more from

  All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will have no part of this.

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• (909): View more from California

  Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.

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