i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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