I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
