Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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