I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
