I bet he comes in French.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize