hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
