"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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