Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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