I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
