if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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