Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
