How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point