we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize