I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
