dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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