I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
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You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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