she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
