I need help removing her.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
