Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
