Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
