Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
