The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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