How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So squirting runs in the family.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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