On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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