Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
