Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
