Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
All I want is dick and wine.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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