I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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