Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The Olympian is in my bed
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
