chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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