SEEEEXXX PLEASE
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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