what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
