Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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