and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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