If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
