A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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