it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
