i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
