im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize