it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
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HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight