Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.