So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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