I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize