she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
