I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
